The joys of (pre)motherhood are astounding and sometimes beyond comprehension:
- Running marathons may be out of the question, but you’re pretty sure you still ran long distance when walking from the sofa to the hallway (let alone to the bedroom)
- Sleeping is no longer enjoyable
- … Neither is sitting, walking, or laying down
- Bathroom visits are much more frequent and quite a bit shorter (tinkle for 2 seconds, wonder how that’s even possible, go to stand up, tinkle again)
- Heat produced from really anything feels like a furnace created to personally take you down – queue loss of the oven, stove, microwave, and all sun rays
- Doctor visits become much more invasive (your “private” areas are damn-near community property)
- Bathroom trips continually surprise you (party on if you tinkle for 3 seconds)
- Ribs and other internal bones, muscles, and organs are all definitely bruised by a kung-fu master living in your uterus/stomach/and (sometimes) chest
- The list of foods that do not cause you heartburn shrinks to water, breathable air, and water
- (God FORBID) Sneezing occurs, causing you weird pains or the need to wear a pad
- Swelling is not a myth – it’s a serious condition in which you are not physically gaining weight but your feet no longer look like your own (if you can even see them over or around your midsection)
- Shaving, washing, lotion-ing, putting on clothes, bending over, painting your toe-nails, and really anything that requires “specialized” movement should not only be added to your resume under “acquired skills and assets” but becomes increasingly difficult without further assistance
- Rolling over in bed counts as a midnight workout
- Getting ready for the day counts as a morning workout
- Taking the stairs counts as a mid-morning workout
- Washing the dishes counts as an afternoon workout
- Taking a nap counts as an evening workout
- Look at you! – you did five workouts today. Congratulate yourself with eating everything that doesn’t cause you heartburn!
- And finally, getting up to tinkle while writing your blog entry occurs at least thrice (yes, I said thrice) and this time only lasts for 0.2 seconds, even though you knew it was a big one
See! I told you (pre)motherhood was astounding. Totally envy-some, right?
But all joking aside, I should put out a warning that this post may be a tad TMI. Wait – should I have said that before the wonders of pregnancy list? Oh well. Let’s keep moving to talk about the OTHER joys that make this time in life so awe-worthy.
Serious question(s): Have you ever fallen in love with something before having laid eyes on it? Have you drifted off to sleep worrying about a person you’ve never met, but instinctively feel responsible for? Have you developed a deep, loving relationship with someone who kicks you constantly and has hiccups regularly?
If you’re a man and answered yes to that last question – this is not the post for you. I don’t know how to help you, and we are on totally different pages. But for everyone else, believe me when I say that growing life (much like a human incubator) has become one of the coolest and weirdest experiences of my life and I wouldn’t change it for the world. Cool because of the responsibility and changes you experience in the nine months before the BIG DAY and weird because of everything else (including the responsibility and changes you experience in the nine months before the big day)!
This baby and I have already been through sleepless nights, danced to music in the car, loved on some donuts (before they gave us heartburn), and developed a habit of kicking daddy right before bed. – Correction, Adeline kicks dad before bed… I just sit and laugh while she does so.
On the other hand, fears and worries creep up at least once a day. It’s a not-so-fun process of remembering that your body will never be the same again and that the responsibility of being a mom is like… harder than anything else in the whole world. But then I remember that once the horrendous pain and somewhat stomach-churning experience of labor and delivery is over I won’t have time or energy for fear and worry – just for taking care of baby girl (and consoling Luis after having watched my body do those stomach-churning things during childbirth).
I find that people love to ask you “are you ready?” when they can clearly distinguish that you’re pregnant (rather than just having eaten one too many chips) and I’ve taken to answering “yes” just so I don’t receive that gravely concerned look. If you say “no” or even hesitate – watch out – that’s when all the advice from 20 years ago starts rolling in. If you say “yes” and smile then at least you can laugh about how not ready you are with your partner later. Of course, I’ve shared how blessed we are in support and love up to this point, but my question is how ready can you really be until the whole thing actually happens? Are breathing methods going to make a difference when you’re in the most intense moment of your life? Are you going to remember not to turn into a hell-beast in the delivery room? Are you going to put down the spoon full of cookies and cream ice cream once you are cleared to eat again? I think not. I mean, everyone’s different, but for first time moms, let’s approach this the way we approached college fresh out of high school – we’ll get to those “important” things when we get to them and should focus on having as much (sober) fun along the way! Right? Right!
Now, even though I started this post with the wonders of (pre)motherhood and still thoroughly stand by that list (having gotten up another two times since writing it) I want to officially say that I’m TOO EXCITED to keep writing. I’ve been wanting to post for a few weeks now but every time I sit down to collect my thoughts, my head jumps from one crazy scenario to the next, all of which lead back to the beautiful moment where we hold our baby girl for the first time. So, whether this be one of the last posts before birth (or a slew of many), I want to officially say that these last nine months have been full of love and support and the next three weeks should be no different.
Once birthing is over, expect another TMI post for your fun and reading pleasure… and maybe, JUST MAYBE, some exclusive pictures of the cutest baby ever.
If you would like to keep up -to-date with our journey from here on out, follow the simple instructions below to receive text updates about our baby’s official announcement and homecoming. Other than that: judiciously apply your sunscreen, don’t stay in the sun for longer than 45 minute periods, and (if you must travel in this 112 degree heat) bring copious amounts of water to keep you looking and feeling cool.
Look at me – already mommin’.
To receive text updates about baby Adeline’s debut, text: @adelineru to 81010. This is our official “phone tree” and announcement board for all things baby Ru! ❤