The end is in sight.
My last day of work. Giving birth. Finishing grad school. Losing my sanity.
It’s official – in one month I’ll be off on maternity leave, in two months (and two days) our bundle of joy is due, and in six months I’ll be the proud owner of an all new 2017 Master’s Degree with a lovely side car of student debt… and I’ll be back at work (cue loss of sanity). Did I mention my husband is also finishing up his Master’s degree at the same time? Double loss of sanity. Seriously.
In the past people called us “overachievers” (with a hint of snark) because we take on a lot during a regular year (we’re both full-time students, full-time employees, and have high commitment extracurricular activities like coaching and being fabulous). Now, however, we get the “ya’ll have lost it” looks when we share that we’re both taking summer classes amidst becoming new parents, that we’re both planning on working, and that we both want to continue our activities because we think that we can handle it… (I have to admit, having 8 weeks left in this pregnancy and starting an 8 week summer course may not have been one of my best ideas – but hey. Let’s see where this goes).
I would like to take this time to say, however, that just because we’re becoming parents doesn’t mean we can’t complete the goals and aspirations we’ve set out for ourselves. Yes, our time will be limited. And – I get it – we have no idea how hard it will be until it’s all occurring at once… but if there’s one thing we can handle, it’s buckling under pressure.
Jk. Jk. It’s banding together when times get tough.
Being a part of the “wife life” (aka* being married to the best man in the world) has taught me more about myself than I could have ever imagined.
Before I got married I was headstrong, opinionated, and particular to a fault. I wanted things done my way, when I wanted it – not five minutes later. And god forbid something took a second too long to get done… I was all over it… and probably mad (sound like an only child, people? And an Aries at that?! Yeah… idk what my husband was thinking). But besides these amazing characteristics I hard, the best trait I possessed was figuring things out on my own. I didn’t need anyone to help me succeed, I was a one-woman show, and I was able to fight fire with fire and win… until I said those two little words… “I do.”
Getting married made me realize (very quickly) that if I wanted this relationship to work it meant I needed to take a hard look at who I was and who I wanted to be. Now, had my husband actually said those words to me I probably would have flown off the handle (HARD), but after a rocky first couple months I saw that the bickering and hurt feelings came from my inability to ask for or receive help – let alone not wanting to share my trials, tribulations, hurts, and weak areas with someone else. Opening up? Yeah… no.
It’s funny how when you’re in college and you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, you imagine how your life will be when you’re finished with that next big milestone. Everything seems simpler, life seems happier, and “adulting” looks like so much fun. Then you get there and you realize that life is hard, work is hard, finances are hard, maintaining relationships is hard, and life is not always simple or happy. Actually, a lot of the time it’s neither.
I find, though, that in making a conscious effort to find the good in the mundane, taking each trial as an opportunity for improvement, and loving those who respect and cherish you – adulting CAN be a beautiful thing.
So with all that said, has marriage changed me for the better? Absolutely. Have I grown to be a stronger woman with my husband by my side rather than doing everything solo? No doubt about it. Will we, together, make it through this crazy parenthood ride in one piece? I freaking hope so. If not, this whole post was written for nothing.
But if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s this: if you’re on this crazy ride of life with the right co-pilot, it’s worth every second. Don’t waste it. It’s precious beyond compare. You’ll get in trouble. You’ll make mistakes. You’ll pull your hair out and probably cry. But will it all be worth it? Heck yes it will.